I didn't get a hand stamp at this show...at the Ten Eleven in downtown San Antonio...
I didn't have a ticket stub...or even a bracelet I could keep as a memento for this night...
September 18th, 2010. His band would perform and I would get to meet Roy. Holy hell.
We had followed each other for months, quite a while, on Twitter. I had sent him cookies...and he spoke guitars. I wanted badly to be acknowledged by him...to impress him. Saturday night came...and it was my chance.
I exchanged texts with a mutual friend of ours. I didn't have Roy's number. Why didn't I ask for his number? Oh, right. He'd think I was some psycho girl obsessed with him. A few tweets back and forth on Twitter doesn't give me the right to assume anything. Maybe. Sigh.
I nervously checked my timeline, and my stomach did backflips every time he tweeted something about his show that night. I started getting ready hours before, something I didn't even do for my wedding day. Everything had to be right. My converse had to match my new plaid shirt. Would he think the hot pink and purple/blue plaid flannel shirt was trying too much? If not then the fact that I matched my eye shadow perfectly to every color in my shirt was just a dead give away that I was just reaching at that point...
I showed up to the gig early...Ugh. I hate being there first. The place was empty, so my friends decided to go down to the Riverwalk while it was time to go see them play. I was annoyed...I kept texting Jav, asking him if he was already there and if he had heard from him. He told me to chill and meet them there at 9:30. I put my phone away in a huff, and dealt with my idiotic company until the time came to head back to the bar. This time I walked in and as soon as I was paying for everyone's cover charge (like I pointed that out? Yeah.), my eyes found him, against the wall with three other guys. I felt my knees give away and instead of going to him, I darted for the bar. Liquid courage, my Shiner, my friend.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my girl friend walk over to them and I still couldn't make myself turn around to say Hello. What the hell was wrong with me?? I finally heard her call my name and tell me to come say hi...and I faced my fate. It was staring me dead in the eyes, and kicking me square in the chest. A small smile as he shook my hand, a cynical smile...a knowing look. I felt about an inch tall and beat to a pulp. I avoided his look for the rest of the time we stood there talking. Later he got on stage, and I couldn't stop myself. Couldn't help myself. Didn't want to. I stared. I listened. I loved. He gave his friends from Odessa a shout out in between songs...and I fancied that it was only for me.
Too soon, I was dragged off into the night. With only a hug good-bye and no words exchanged between Roy and I. I felt hollow, disappointed, hurt. So sad. How could I have been so stupid and not at least poured my heart out?
Time passed...he was gone. I thought of him daily in one way or another. Until life gave put him back on the map for me. Unicorns exploded in mass genocide. The Universe sat back and gave us both a little nudge in the right direction.
And here it is...253 days later. All I had from that night was a lone pic I took of him singing his heart out.
I don't have a hand stamp...
I don't have a stub.
But I have something better. I have him.
I didn't have a ticket stub...or even a bracelet I could keep as a memento for this night...
September 18th, 2010. His band would perform and I would get to meet Roy. Holy hell.
We had followed each other for months, quite a while, on Twitter. I had sent him cookies...and he spoke guitars. I wanted badly to be acknowledged by him...to impress him. Saturday night came...and it was my chance.
I exchanged texts with a mutual friend of ours. I didn't have Roy's number. Why didn't I ask for his number? Oh, right. He'd think I was some psycho girl obsessed with him. A few tweets back and forth on Twitter doesn't give me the right to assume anything. Maybe. Sigh.
I nervously checked my timeline, and my stomach did backflips every time he tweeted something about his show that night. I started getting ready hours before, something I didn't even do for my wedding day. Everything had to be right. My converse had to match my new plaid shirt. Would he think the hot pink and purple/blue plaid flannel shirt was trying too much? If not then the fact that I matched my eye shadow perfectly to every color in my shirt was just a dead give away that I was just reaching at that point...
I showed up to the gig early...Ugh. I hate being there first. The place was empty, so my friends decided to go down to the Riverwalk while it was time to go see them play. I was annoyed...I kept texting Jav, asking him if he was already there and if he had heard from him. He told me to chill and meet them there at 9:30. I put my phone away in a huff, and dealt with my idiotic company until the time came to head back to the bar. This time I walked in and as soon as I was paying for everyone's cover charge (like I pointed that out? Yeah.), my eyes found him, against the wall with three other guys. I felt my knees give away and instead of going to him, I darted for the bar. Liquid courage, my Shiner, my friend.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my girl friend walk over to them and I still couldn't make myself turn around to say Hello. What the hell was wrong with me?? I finally heard her call my name and tell me to come say hi...and I faced my fate. It was staring me dead in the eyes, and kicking me square in the chest. A small smile as he shook my hand, a cynical smile...a knowing look. I felt about an inch tall and beat to a pulp. I avoided his look for the rest of the time we stood there talking. Later he got on stage, and I couldn't stop myself. Couldn't help myself. Didn't want to. I stared. I listened. I loved. He gave his friends from Odessa a shout out in between songs...and I fancied that it was only for me.
Too soon, I was dragged off into the night. With only a hug good-bye and no words exchanged between Roy and I. I felt hollow, disappointed, hurt. So sad. How could I have been so stupid and not at least poured my heart out?
Time passed...he was gone. I thought of him daily in one way or another. Until life gave put him back on the map for me. Unicorns exploded in mass genocide. The Universe sat back and gave us both a little nudge in the right direction.
And here it is...253 days later. All I had from that night was a lone pic I took of him singing his heart out.
I don't have a hand stamp...
I don't have a stub.
But I have something better. I have him.
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